Katonti.
Imagine you find yourself riding a huge wave of success: Your start-up company is heading toward an IPO… You’ve graduated on top of your class... You won an Olympic medal…
How would that make you feel? Probably on top of the world!
Experiencing success can lead to a sense of power, entitlement, and worse yet, as our bubby’s would say, a lack of mentch-lichkeit.
Jacob in this week’s Torah portion experienced success, yet takes a radically different approach.
He goes from rags to riches. Despite others’ attempts to abuse him and put him down every step of the way. He outwits Laban, outmaneuvers Esau, wrestles with and overpowers an angel, and becomes extremely wealthy to boot.
His emotional reaction to all this? Katonti - I feel smaller, humbler as a result of my success!
Why would a wildly successful person feel ‘smaller’ and less entitled than their less successful peer?
Jacob’s reflection is truly empowering:
I can choose to see myself asthe primary cause for my success, that would naturally lead me to feel more arrogant, entitled, and probably less happy as a result.
Or I can choose to see my success as the result of the gifts given to me by my creator.That would lead me to feel humbled by the experience. Someone cares for me, and chose to generously share these blessings with me.
Every success you experience is the result of gifts, talents, wisdom and resources that were granted to you, recognize that and that will leave you feeling humbled, grateful and genuinely happy!
This stands out as one of the most powerful lessons from my early days in Yeshivah.
(It is common for people who taste success to gradually lose touch with ‘ordinary folk’ in their life. After all, there are more important people to hang out with…)