Rabbi's weekly messages

I know it's hard to imagine, but one day, we will emerge from this quarantine :) While we will be thrilled to move on with life, will we take anything from this era into our post-coronavirus lives (other than a surplus of toilet paper rolls and a face-mask collection)?!

The truth is, beyond the difficult challenges this brought us, we've gained some valuable perspectives on life. Like: Getting to really know the people we share the same roof with… Humility (how little we really know)… Modesty (cutting back on extravagant parties)… Revisiting priorities (there's more to life than accumulating wealth)… Mutual responsibility… and more. Wouldn’t it be a pity to lose these hard-earned values? How can we ensure that we take these priceless treasures with us and not leave it behind?

This week's Torah portion Acharei-Kedoshim may hold the secret. In it we find both Torah readings of the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur. The first (read Yom Kippur morning) speaks of the awe-inspiring atmosphere that gripped the Jewish nation as they witnessed the Temple Service. Every soul was moved. The next part (read Yom Kippur afternoon) speaks of the most elementary and basic values of avoiding immoral marital relations.

It seems rather anti-climactic. To segue from an extraordinary transcendent experience to a rather obvious moral code of conduct. Couldn't we find anything more inspiring with which to conclude the most inspiring day of the year?

But that's exactly the point. Inspiration, whether induced from the Holy Temple or from a virus that brought the world to a stand-still, is all fleeting.

There's only one way to keep the benefits of inspiration flowing beyond the actual event. If, in the midst of the inspiring event, you think and take practical steps and commit to simple, yet concrete resolutions on how you will behave the day after. Make these resolutions enshrined in your daily schedule.

Act today to ensure you don't let your inspiration go to waste!

 Why we should all be planting now & Shabbat Shalom!

People are discovering new things these days. Our one-year-old Esther discovered Zoom and demands to get in on the action. Our kids discovered distance-learning, while I, as a parent, discovered up-close learning...

On one of my mid-day bike rides with the kids this week, we passed a neighbor planting a garden, so the kids wanted to know why we don't plant a garden too. I said I would, but unfortunately, the poor little seeds wouldn't stand a chance of blossoming or surviving under our care :)

Speaking of seeds - this week's double Torah portions are Tazria, opening with mitzvot pertaining to the seed, or birth of new a new life. The second portion is Metzorah, discussing the conduct of an individual in quarantine due to a supernatural skin related ailment called Tzaraat.

So, who came up with the idea of lumping these two portions with such opposite themes? An unfortunate ailment with something as miraculous as birth?

But if you observe the process of a seed's growth, it all makes sense. First, it is 'quarantined' into the ground, which must be terribly uncomfortable, then it begins to plotz and feel like it's losing its identity. But that's precisely when the miraculous growth and birth takes place.

This could be the story of our lives. This ailment could be the beginning of the birth of a newer, incomparably better version of ourselves and the world. If we seize this opportunity while the world's noise and distraction are shut down, and listen to and tend to our deep core, then with some patience, faith, and cultivating improved behaviors and habits, we can be on the verge of the birth of a new horizon!

Why is this week different than all other weeks of my life?

TRUST

On all other weeks of my life, I had a plan. I made goals and accomplished them. I was convinced I had life all (or mostly) figured out.

But this week, I was humbled to realize I know so little. I'm slowly coming to terms with the reality that my only plan is G-d's plan. And I know it will be good in the end.If it's not good yet, it's not the end. (Oh, and thank you, dear G-d, for taking the burden off my shoulders. It's quite liberating just letting go).

Friends: PRAY each day. Say the Modeh Ani, say the Shema. Allow yourself to internalize Hashem's presence in your life.

SHABBAT

On all other Shabbat's of my life, much of the Jewish activity centered around the shul; Jews relied on the rabbi, cantor, and gabbai to keep the Jewish thing going.

But on this Shabbat, our homes are the Shul. We are all the rabbi and the cantor. We will each step up to the plate, and we won't disappoint! 

Friends: UNPLUG from the relentless news cycle this Shabbat. Sundown Friday to nightfall Saturday. Light candles, make Kiddush, study the Parshah. Do it all the way!

HABITS

On all other weeks of my life, I had daily routines and habits, some good some not so good. It's been quite challenging breaking the bad habits.

But this week, as the rug was pulled from under my feet, I was forced to kick every habit and routine. I now realize the amazing opportunity to reconstruct my daily routine to reflect my truest priorities.

Friends: INCLUDE Torah in your daily routine - join me online each morning next week for 15 minutes, as we explore one question/topic a day from The Jewish Course of Why.  See a sample of questions and topics here:  https://forms.gle/KBhyvPZATgNoYS2s9. Details to follow next week.

GOODNESS

On all other weeks of my life, I've been inspired by isolated examples of kindness shown by some people.

But this week, I was moved by witnessing the never-ending gush and outpouring of selfless, remarkable, almost superhuman kindness shown by people all over the world. Medical personnel putting themselves in the line of danger to fight this pandemic, teachers stretching themselves to be there for students, parents giving their all to their kids, and strangers volunteering to bring food and other supplies to neighbors. Our father in heaven must be kvelling with nachas!

Friends: SIGN UP to volunteer. Your help will be needed by others in the community who are not able to venture out to do basic errands. Fill out this form  https://forms.gle/6wtinwNSUi3M9cSPA

Are THEY making the right decisions?! Are THEY failing us?!

As we are all endlessly refreshing the news to get the minute-by-minute updates, people are discussing and judging whether the decisions of those in positions of leadership are the smartest, best timed, is the tone too soft or too harsh.

I have a different question: Are WE failing THEM?

By ‘them’ – I’m referring to our youth, who for the first time in their lives are watching closely how grown adults respond to a situation that is greatly challenging and turns our plans and lives upside down.

Do we bicker, blame and grab; or, in addition to taking every precaution advised by the health experts, do we humbly and calmly accept the reality that as humans, we are always fragile, we do what we need and put our faith in Hashem to take care of the rest.

Are we able to maintain our composure, show sensitivity and care to a neighbor or a stranger, in addition to fending for ourselves?

If we go through this challenge out of a place of inner strength you will have built up your spiritual immune system and those of our fragile youth who look up to you, to better tackle the challenges that come their way, when COVID-19 will be just a distant memory.

As one rabbi put it: Wash your hands well. And when you do, pause to remember in who's hands you are in!

One of the common requests we get at Chabad is for help determining the date of a loved one's Yahrzeit.

But this shouldn't just be a Yahrzeit thing.

It would be wise to keep note of the Jewish date of your birthday too.

Because your Jewish birthday holds the key to unleashing some really powerful energy.

How do I know?

There once was was an antisemite who wanted to kill every Jew on the face of the earth. His name was Haman. Haman had a problem: He knew that Jews were well connected - to G-d - and it would be tough to just take them all down. His best bet was to find a time that their mazel (spiritual power) was down in the dumps. He thought about it, and came up with just the right time. The Jewish month of Adar (the current Jewish month) was known for one thing - Moses' Yahrzeit. Perfect timing, he thought. He set the date for a mass extermination and even got the king to sign off on it.

You know the rest of the story. We had the last laugh and turned him into a pastry.

So, what was Haman's fatal error? The Talmud fills us in: Adar marks not only the date of Moses' Yahrzeit, but also Moses' birthday, and Haman underestimated to power unleashed on the Jewish date of one's birthday. It is why Haman didn't stand a chance.

But now that we know its potency, don't let the Jewish date of your birthday just pass you by. Your Jewish soul and mazel shine most brightly on your Jewish birthday. Take on new new initiatives. Set ambitious goals. Pray. Study more. Be generous. Because on your Jewish birthday almost nothing can get in your way!

For more about Jewish birthdays visit JewishOlney.com/Birthday.

P.S. Commemorating Yahrzeits are important too. At Chabad we offer annual notifications of the correct date along with a Yahrzeit candle. If you don't get them yet, you can, by simply filling out this form: https://forms.gle/JEZbR7E1GHQRARev8

This week, we showed a film at Chabad, Outback Rabbis, which follows two young Chabad emissary (Shluchim) couples, in their quest to reach and connect with Jews living in the most remote areas of the Aussie outback.

There are many ways one can prepare for a life committed to serving the Jewish community: Brushing up on communication or counseling skills, Jewish scholarship, Public speaking skills, etc. While they are all important, I think there is something far more important than all of that.

When I was a Chabad yeshivah student, like most of my fellow Yeshiva students, I spent summers and Passovers taking part in the ‘Roving Rabbis’ program. We would visit remote areas, communities and countries, seeking isolated Jews and doing our best to connect them with their heritage – Through performing Mitzvos together and spending time with them, we would work to rekindle the Jewish spark.

How far would we travel to find them? As far as they may be! If we could not verify they would be home, we would still travel an entire morning, with the hope of meeting and being able to engage with them.

This taught me that serving the Jewish people, means cherishing and being 100 percent there for the individual Jew.

In this week’s Torah portion, Va’erah, G-d begins to show Pharaoh an awesome display of strength with the first seven plagues. Moses’ introduction to Pharaoh, following G-ds instruction was: “Send out  My child [Israel] so that he will worship Me”

Notice that G-d doesn’t say my people or my nation, but my son in the singular form.

Each of us is G-d’s only child. 

It is not enough to be proud of and love ‘The Jewish People’, we must show unconditional love to the individual. Each one is G-d’s only child! 

When asked how many children I have, I sometimes respond “I have one of each”

Love is amazing. It defies all logic and rules of mathematics. Like all parents I loved my first child with every fiber of my being, I didn’t love him 99%, I loved him 100%. There was no room for more. Then we had our second child and I loved him 100%. I didn’t have to divide my love, I loved each one 100 percent. Each was and continues to be the entire universe to me

It doesn’t matter how many children you have, each one is an only child. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s the nature of love.

G-d works the same way.

This is why the word “your” in the first of the Ten Commandments, “I am the Lord YOUR G-d”, is written in the singular form (in Hebrew the word “your” can be written in plural or singular form). 

The Torah was not given to “a people”, it was given to each individual. 

G-d doesn’t ask the Jewish people to light Shabbat candles or to put on Tefillin, He asks you his only child.

Often, I get the request, “Rabbi can you pray for me?” “Sure,” I say, “but, G-d would love to hear from you too – you’re his only child”

If G-d had many children, your mitzvah would be dispensable, but he doesn’t, he only has you. No one can light YOUR Shabbat candle, no one can don YOUR tefillin or say YOUR prayers or eat YOUR kosher.  

Can you imagine a child saying, my mother has other kids to hug her, she doesn’t need my hug! I don’t need to call her, she has other kids who call her. 

G-d wants your hug. He wants your Mitzvah, he wants to hear your voice and he wants to be involved in your life.

The story goes of a traveler who comes to a fork on the road, unsure which path will take him to his destination. To his benefit, there was a signpost with clear arrows marking which city was in which direction. To his detriment though, the sign had been knocked down by a storm, and now seemed obsolete.

The traveler thought for a moment, then lifted the signpost with the arrow showing his city of origin pointing to the road he just traveled and smiled as it became clear to him where he needed to go.

Clarity is a cherished commodity as we make our way through life. They say hindsight is always 20/20. Except that it is foresight which we often so desperately seek.

Joseph, whose story continues in this week's Torah portion, Vayechi, knew more than anyone how tumultuous life can be, he had experienced extreme lows and soared to the greatest heights, yet, throughout it all, he maintained an inner calm, clarity of vision, and conviction, of where he was heading in life and what kind of person he wanted to be.

What was his secret sauce?! Pay attention to the names of his two sons born in Egypt. The first he named Menashe, expressing his attachment to his roots, where he's coming from. The second, he named Ephraim - expressing his confidence in his success and future. These themes were the two pillars that guided him in this uncharted turf. a strong connection to his past, and only then confidence in his future.

One of the greatest blessings in life is to have an inner sense of direction, with clarity of where you want to take your life, not merely following where it leads you. One sure way to achieve that is by planting yourself deeply into your past, your heritage. What were the Torah values your Bubbies and Zaidies found so empowering? As Jews, what values have we always stood for?

Know where you come from, so you can gain 20/20 vision of where you are heading!

My kids inspired me this week.

Little Rivkah, who turns four today, finally took the plunge. She's been considering letting go of her pacifier and 'blanky', which she typically hung out with for 12-18 hours a day. This week, she just gave it up. Cold turkey. (I won't go into the bribes :))

Then something amazing happened. Her two older sisters, who had strong attachments of their own to their own comforts, watched what she did, and right then and there decided to give up their own attachments. Just a day earlier they wouldn't have even entertained the thought of it. But "if she did it, so could we"!

It made me realize that we are much stronger than we think we are.

Often, the strength and willpower we exhibit is the result of and reflects our circumstances. After scoring a big win, for instance, financially or academically we may feel really empowered and sense like we're on top of the world, and we can do anything.

We should not be limited to circumstances though. True strength can and must come from within.

In this week's Torah portion, Vayigash, Yehudah confronts the second most powerful person in the Egyptian empire (he did not yet know it was his own brother), to stand up and protect his brother Binyamin.

Circumstantially, Yosef was the one in the position of power and had every advantage over the desperate Yehudah.

Yet Yehudah didn't approach with weakness, desperation or inferiority. He approached and confronted respectfully yet driven and empowered. Yehuda's descendants ultimately held the seat of leadership for much of Jewish history (think: David and Solomon).

Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder of our inner strength and ability to make significant changes in our life. Little Rivkah inspired me. Who inspires you?

Katonti.

Imagine you find yourself riding a huge wave of success: Your start-up company is heading toward an IPO… You’ve graduated on top of your class... You won an Olympic medal…

How would that make you feel? Probably on top of the world!

Experiencing success can lead to a sense of power, entitlement, and worse yet, as our bubby’s would say, a lack of mentch-lichkeit.

Jacob in this week’s Torah portion experienced success, yet takes a radically different approach.

He goes from rags to riches. Despite others’ attempts to abuse him and put him down every step of the way. He outwits Laban, outmaneuvers Esau, wrestles with and overpowers an angel, and becomes extremely wealthy to boot.

His emotional reaction to all this? Katonti - I feel smaller, humbler as a result of my success!

Why would a wildly successful person feel ‘smaller’ and less entitled than their less successful peer?

Jacob’s reflection is truly empowering:

I can choose to see myself asthe primary cause for my success, that would naturally lead me to feel more arrogant, entitled, and probably less happy as a result.

Or I can choose to see my success as the result of the gifts given to me by my creator.That would lead me to feel humbled by the experience. Someone cares for me, and chose to generously share these blessings with me.

Every success you experience is the result of gifts, talents, wisdom and resources that were granted to you, recognize that and that will leave you feeling humbled, grateful and genuinely happy! 

This stands out as one of the most powerful lessons from my early days in Yeshivah.

(It is common for people who taste success to gradually lose touch with ‘ordinary folk’ in their life. After all, there are more important people to hang out with…)

 A story is told of two writers who rushed to the study of the famous Ruzhiner Rebbe, they wanted him to write the preface to their respective books, one on Jewish law, the other on Jewish stories. The attendant was sure that the rebbe would see the writer of law first, but he checked with his rebbe first. The rebbe told him that he would see the storyteller first. “Our Torah begins with stories. Were it not for the stories, the mitzvot that follow would simply not stick.”

Stories have a wonderful way to bring a value to life. Torah comes to life, when we pay attention to the stories and the lives of those who were molded by our sacred values. It opens us up to be shaped and influenced by their example.

This week we begin the story of our Patriarch and Matriarch, Abraham and Sarah. The stories of the Torah span the upcoming ten to fifteen Torah portions. Take the time to absorb them. Read them to your children (some great resources here), re-read them yourself at shabbat service (more on that here). Pick up some new insights and commentary as you go along.

It's been said: Others may tell stories to their children to put them to sleep, we tell stories to our children to keep them awake!

Most of us manage to accomplish most of our tasks, most of the time.

We ​​pretty much complete our work assignment before the deadline. We’re​​mostly there for our kids when they need us. and settle for ​​a few Jewish experiences over the year.

But is it OK to settle for 'just OK'?!

I read a sports column earlier this week, preparing Nats fans for the likely scenario that the Nationals ​will not become the World Series Champion​s. It’s message: 'Sports is not about the destination, but the Journey', after all, even making it to the World series under this year’s circumstances was quite an achievement, and fans should be proud.

Clearly, the Nationals players didn't buy that narrative.​ They didn't just #StayInTheFight. They #FinishedTheFight.

I​n this week's Torah portion we observe the difference between those who enjoy real success, ad those who just 'get by'.

​Terach​, the father of Abraham,​ took his​family and​ "traveled from Ur Kasdim to go to Canaan, and they came to Charan and​ ​stayed there.​"​​​ ​He realized the journey was a challenge, and figured he'll settle for less. 'Charan is ok too, I guess’.

Contrast that to the trip Terach’s son ​Abraham takes. ​G-d​ ​appears to him once, tells him to leave Charan and in spite of innumerable difficulties and adventures on the way, he makes it all the way to Israel.

And that’s why the whole world knows about​Abraham, while Terach’s name is largely forgotten. Terach was too easily distracted and easily gave up on his journey to the Promised Land, while his son persevered until his final destination.

​Invest some more effort in your work assignment and it will truly stand-out. Give your child that extra attention in helping them through a problem you could have overlooked, and you will help them truly shine. Take your Jewish involvement to the next level, not just settling for the status quo, and you will feel deeper fulfillment.

​We are Abraham's descendants. We should not settle for half journey. Take it to the end, and #FinishTheFight!

Throughout the past month, we wished each other, and ourselves, again and again, blessings for a good and sweet year. "Shana Tovah" is more than a wish though, it's a decision. Now's the time to make that decision and get to work.

We have been forgiven and forgave ourselves for our shortcomings this past year. But now's not the time for self-pity, it's a time to act.

This past week, we celebrated the climax of the month, Simchat Torah, with the pure Joy of the Torah and Judaism. Our father in heaven must be beaming with nachas at the Mitzvah commitments bursting from the Chabad Tent on Georgia Avenue. There were commitments to Show up in Shul, to make Kiddush Friday night, to purchase a Mezuzah for a friend, new Torah study commitments, and on and on...

The Chabad Rebbes would often declare: 'The way you set your course on Shabbat Bereishit, the rest of the year will follow'.

Now's the time to bring the High Holiday, Sukkot and Simchat Torah inspiration into the world of action, by creating a better version of ourselves this year. By believing in ourselves and our ability to master our challenges as much as G-d believes in us.

Let's make 5780 a true "Shana Tova"!

You know the feeling of utter shock when thre's a sudden power outage? This past Sunday we experienced it.

Within a moment our entire life reverted back one hundred years. The AC and washing machine fell silent, and the computer and lights went dark. So we moved the kids outdoors. After about three hours, we realized the food in the fridge may spoil and we could not cook dinner, and soon night and darkness would descend. Worst of all, our cell phones batteries were dangerously low :)

With technology down, I had no choice but to flick my imaginative mind on. I thought: What is the message in all this? the Baal Shem Tov taught to learn a lesson from everything one sees, hears and experiences.

Then it hit me like a flash of light. Sunday, was Rosh Chodesh, the first day of the new month of Elul. This is what Elul is really all about. All year long, we are in this race called life. Work, commute, home, chores, bills, while technology lingers in the background providing constant distraction, generating artificial excitement, we may come to believe that this is all that life has to offer.

But Elul, the month leading into the High Holidays, begs us to stop for a moment, to turn off the artificial distraction and listen to the sound of our true, inner self. What is the purpose of everything we do? What are we here for? How did we do this past year, as humans and as Jews? Are we even going in the right direction?

Suddenly the lights went back on, and life returned to normal. But the race of life, now seemed to have a new perspective and a clearer goal. It was worth it.

The first day of school is just around the corner. Children are excited about the fresh start, new school gear, and the thrill of moving up a class. And parents are no doubt also looking forward to having the children back in a structured environment (did I already say - finally?!). 

The past few weeks, Devorah and I were tasked with coming up with some creative ways of keeping the children engaged with activities and out of trouble. It didn't always go as planned.

One day we planned and splurged on a great trip with attractions and all. Somehow the kids managed to get at each other's nerves and they returned sour and upset. Another day, we planned nothing. We simply asked the older kids to create a 'camp' for the family. Before we knew it, there was a schedule prepared, crafts and competitions were set into motion and the day turned out to be a great success. 

Then I realized. Children don't just want to be kept busy and entertained. More importantly, they want a sense of purpose and meaning to their day. 

This idea is echoed in the opening of this week's Torah portion, Re'eh: "See, I set before you today [two paths] blessing and course. The blessing, if you listen to the Mitzvos of Hashem..."

This is not merely a commandment, this is begging us to open our eyes, see, that each and every action and choice we make has tremendous significance. An opportunity that was personally given to us from G-d to serve as a source for blessings in our life.

My blessing to my children and all children is that this new school year be not only busy and productive, but a year in which they see and feel a sense of purpose in their learning and character development.

There's a great old Jewish trick, which is so helpful in defusing situations from potentially over blowing into anger or other negative emotions.

It's the 'Mazel tov!' trick.

Here's a classic example of how it goes: Your setting the table to host special guest with a dish you worked all afternoon to prepare. Your child is in the kitchen doing their thing, when they inadvertently knock the dish to the floor. CRASH! In a split-second, hours of your hard work is splattered in the floor, and the china broken in a hundred pieces. Our parents have trained us to the Jewish knee-jerk response when you hear that CRASH: We shout' Mazel tov!' - just like under the Chuppah.

(Of-course you talk to your child about the importance of being cautious in the kitchen, just not when your blood is rushing. That makes all the difference in diffusing a potentially toxic situation.)

This can easily be applied to other situations, like the time you've been circling the city streets for thirty minutes until you found a parking spot, only to realize the store you came for had permanently shut its doors. Before letting a torrent of anger and frustration out, you quickly say the equivalent of 'Mazel tov!' or 'it was meant to be!'

Of course, this is more than a psychological trick. It's a reflection of a deep faith that Hashem is always taking us to a place ultimately best for us.

In the Jewish calendar we are now in the three-weeks of mourning, culminating in the fast day of Tisha B'av, over the collective misfortunes that have befallen our people throughout our long history. We don't merely mourn in sadness, rather we utilize the 'crash' to deepen our appreciation for the goodness that will ultimately be born as a result of our long journey. It's a time to reflect on the promise of our prophets of the messianic perfect world that we will soon experience, and study about and discover the beauty and significance of of our Holy Temple which once stood in Jerusalem, may it be rebuilt in our days. ( The 'Jerusalem uncovered' event  next Friday is a great opportunity and timely).

As Jews, we have been trained that experiencing a CRASH is only the beginning of a new, deeper goodness... Mazal Tov!

I stopped into Home Depot yesterday to pick up an item for the house. I was in and out fairly quickly, even with a child in tow. I returned to the car, strapped my toddler in, got comfortable in my seat, just ahead of the approaching storm clouds, only to realize the keys were not in my pocket... 

My mind began racing with backup plans, (do I even have the other key to the car?) while I'm tracing my steps around the parking lot, store, the check-out line. Asking shoppers in the aisles if they noticed a car key. Nothing. Do I Uber home? Ask my wife to pick us up? How can I get the car back on the road?... I approached the Customer Service counter to see if they can help. I ask the first employee whos attention I got. He slides his hands into his pocket and says: "Are these yours? Someone brought them to the counter 15 minutes ago". Phew. "Thank you! There are kind people in this world", I said.

The day moves on, other pressing things need my attention. The kindness of the stranger, who chose to bother himself with some keys on the ground in a parking lot and hand them to customer service, when they could have simply ignored it, faded from my mind. And it would probably not be on my mind today, if I had not ben writing this message. What if my keys were not found? The saga would likely be front and center on my mind for the coming days.

This is how humans tend to operate. We take goodness around us for granted. Even when we acknowledge and are grateful, the feelings of gratitude are often short lived. While negative experiences linger and live on in our minds. 

It's like the Manna-eaters in this week's Torah portion, Beha'alotcha. Every morning they awoke to this miraculous, great tasting food, hassle free, worry free. What else can you ask for?! It's like getting a paycheck from your boss for time spent vacationing on the beach. But the Jews complained (Numbers, 11,6, / Rashi): "We have nothing but manna to look at", "Manna in the morning, manna in the evening."(!)

The message is clear. We can have outstanding gifts, blessings and success in our lives but spend our time obsessing over the few unresolved troubles.  

Your life will only be filled with with positivity if you choose to focus on it. Make the time every morning to thank Hashem for the blessings in your life!

 A story is told of Berel, who traveled far to a wise sage to seek advice in helping him get out of his depression. The sage said: "I heard that in your town there is a gifted comedian, he can surely help you get out of your depression." to which Berel responded: "You don't understand the problem; I'm that comedian."

In the spirit of the joyous month of Adar, here are four pieces of advice to cultivate happiness in your life. Each reflecting one of the four Mitzvot through which we celebrate Purim:

1) Read the Megillah - Take the time to focus on the positive stories in your life. Even as some negativity surrounds you, no doubt there is still much positivity in your life. Listen to it and tell it over.

2) Meal - At least once a week (Shabbat), sit down for a meal and spend time with family. Laugh together, sing together and cultivate a positive environment in the home.

3) Gifts to Friends - Send goodness to those around you - compliment, smile, wish them well and send small gifts. 

4) Gifts to the Needy - Look around for opportunities in which you can make a difference. Donate or volunteer, even (and especially) if it's outside your 'clique'.

Oh, and if you are feeling too down to even get started? Don't worry, put on a mask, let it be a fake smile. Once you get started with the above, your smile will quickly turn real! 

 A community member recently shared with me a few letters and notes from a relative who had just passed away. They were deeply personal, expressive, and seemed like a letter to a loved one. They were penned to G-d. 

It was an encouraging reminder of what prayer ought to look like. Far from being a routine or ritual, or even a petition to a distant and remote being, prayer at its core is an authentic one-on-one encounter with our creator.

Moses, whose yahrtzeit was marked this past week on the seventh of Adar, epitomized this kind of relationship. His conversations and petitions to G-d throughout his life, whether on behalf of the people he led or for his personal needs, were marked by a strikingly personal tone, indicating the depth of the relationship he enjoyed. The Torah describes his communication as being: "Mouth to mouth" (Bamidbar 12, 8) and "Face to face" (Devarim 34, 10).

When seen and experienced in this light, we realize that by G-d inviting us to engage in conversation with Him, through prayer, we are given a tremendous gift.

So go ahead, let your guard down. Open up and have a heart to heart conversation with G-d, as a loving parent. Share your frustrations, successes, hopes, and dreams. He is waiting to hear from us, His dear children.

 Do you like to plan ahead? 

Some of us barely plan for the next hour, some of us have our calendars scheduled till the end of 2020... Jacob, our forefather, took planning to the next level; He planned 210 years ahead! 

In this week's Torah portion, Terumah, The Jews are instructed to build a portable Temple (Mishkan), to serve as the meeting point between the Jews and G-d.

One of the primary materials they used for its construction was Cedar Wood. But how did they get Cedar Wood in a barren desert? 

The Midrash fills in the background: As our forefather, Jacob, prepared to travel from Israel to Egypt, he foresaw that the Jews will one day need to construct a portable Temple in the desert before they enter the Promised Land. So he took Cedar plants with him to plant in Egypt and instructed his children to convey to their descendants that they take it out with them by the Exodus.

The message of Jacob was certainly not just about the importance of planning ahead. There's a profound message here. 

The enslavement and persecution the Jews were going to endure in Egypt would be brutal. How would they have the courage and will-power to survive physically, emotionally and spiritually? Jacob's Cedars were there as encouragement throughout their ordeal, as if to say: "Stay Strong! The seeds of Exodus are already planted within your midst, it is just a matter of it coming to fruition."

When we go through any challenge, big or small, we too must remember that the seeds to our personal redemption have already been planted. The power to overcome may lay deep within me, I need only to summon the strength from within!

Can you control your thoughts?

In this week's Torah portion, Yitro, we read the Ten Commandments. While some of the commandments may come to us effortlessly, the tenth commandment seems like a tough one to master. Jealousy.

How can we get destructive thoughts of jealousy out of our head? Wouldn't my life be that much better if only I had ___________?!

Perhaps because this is such a difficult Mitzvah, some commentaries understand that the Torah actually provides us with a tool, an approach, to help us overcome feelings of jealousy.

"Do not be jealous of your friend's house. Do not be jealous of your friend's wife... and all that belongs to them."

'And all that belongs to them', is not merely a reference to the subject, but a framework to help you. You may isolate an element of your friend's life, their job, personality, skill set, family, etc. etc. and wish you had that, but you fail to take 'all that belongs to them' into account. Their entire life. It's a package deal.

So, next time your child wants you to buy them a hover board just like their friends' got from their parents, you can say "sure, but you get their parents too" :)

Our life story may seem to have its pros and cons (a peckelin Yiddish), but together it creates a perfect custom-made package, the life that only you could live, and the impact that only you can make!

Marketers understand there's a world of a difference between presenting options as 'opting in' vs. 'opting out'.

Although customers always make the choice, the way the default is presented is of paramount importance. If by default someone is in, most will stay in. For this reason, you will find some options on online forms, with the checkbox already checked by default. Had the default been unchecked, few would actually go ahead and choose to check it.

This simple idea guides so many areas of life. Recent studies suggest, that the importance of cultivating healthy eating and exercise habits in children, is more than just ensuring they are healthier during childhood, most importantly it has them 'opted in' for healthy choices during their adult life as well.

Pharaoh, in this week's Torah portion - Bo, failed to realize the importance of this idea. Before the seventh plague, Pharaoh is about to cave to Moses' demand, and let the Jews go worship G-d in the desert as they have been asking for.  He had one issue: "Let the adults go and worship your G-d, why take the children?!"

Moses responded that the children's participation was not up for debate: "With our youth and with our elders we will go, with our sons and with our daughters...".

The heart of this debate lingers today as well.

The Pharaohnian approach to spirituality and a relationship with G-d, is that it must be introduced to the sophisticated mind of an adult. When the children grow up, I will sit them down and present the case for religious observance. for now, let them be busy with schoolwork, sports and lighter stuff. They can always opt in later, when they are ready.

The Jewish approach, on the other hand, has always been, that Jewish education starts from day one. We immerse our children in the full Jewish experience. Whether through Shul, Shabbat dinners, bedtime Shema or a Mezuzah on their bedroom door our job as Jewish parents is to cultivate healthy spiritual habits and ensure they know they are 'in'!

How to make a miracle 

This past Monday at Chabad, we watched a powerful story of a young boy who escaped the Nazi ghetto and miraculously defied death again and again. The climax of the story though, is after the war, when the boy is faced with an existential dilemma, whether to continue living as a Christian in the loving embrace of the kind family who adopted him, or to venture into the unknown in a Jewish orphanage to rejoin what was left of his battered people.

His dramatic decision to live as a Jew can be described as no less miraculous. He eventually moved to Israel, met his wife and raised children and grandchildren.

This story has a striking resemblance to the beginning of this week's Torah portion - Shemot. After Pharaoh turns on the Jews, and reduces their status to slaves, he goes on to condemn Jewish baby boys to death through drowning.

On first glance, Pharaoh's decree related to the death of the baby boys. A closer look, however, reveals his intention to influence the baby girls as well. V'chol habat techyun - you, Egyptians, must raise all the Jewish girls. Essentially stripping them of their Jewish education.

Pharaoh had a two-pronged approach to his 'solution' to the Jewish 'problem': Physically annihilating the boys and spiritually and morally corrupting the girls. This was perhaps no less important to his mission, because he recognized how critical Jewish education is to the Jewish future.

As one medieval Jewish sage put it: If we seek to witness miracles of biblical proportion, we need not look any further then the very existence of the Jewish people as a people.

By investing in our children's Jewish education and our future, you, along with G-d's help, are nothing short of a miracle worker!

 This week's Torah portion is like arriving at the climax of an intense drama.

In the previous episodes, we watched the story of Joseph and his bothers unfold. It began with favoritism, jealousy, and betrayal. Then Joseph's wandering, new career, and subsequent libel played itself out. Followed by the incarceration, dramatic rise from rags to riches, famine, the decent, maltreatment, identification, and entrapment.

We finally arrive at the climax: "And Joseph could not contain himself any longer", and is about to reveal his true identity to his brothers.

We would expect his catharsis to begin by first unleashing the anger he must have built up over twenty-two years, then finally settling the score, for having abused a helpless 17-year-old... after all, the brothers were now at his absolute mercy.

But none of that happens.

Instead, Joseph is soft-spoken, he even weeps as he talks of his empowering mission, and the position G-d placed him in, to save the country and his family. He refuses to submit to the narrative of a poor helpless victim, instead, he adopts the narrative of an empowered mission-driven life.

As an audience watching a drama film, we may have preferred the closure of revenge. As grandchildren though, we got a most valuable life lesson from our dear zayde.

What is the best and perfect environment to raise our children?! A solid school? Good friends? A safe community? After all, we want to provide the best conditions for our children to blossom. 

What happens when the conditions we hoped for, never materialized? I feel that the teacher is terrible or they ended up with the wrong group of friends, have we compromised our chances of raising the child we hoped we would?

Quite the opposite.

Jacob, in this week's Torah portion, shows us how to successfully raise a family of children who live up their parents' ideals. He does not have the luxury to rely on the perfect environment. As a matter of fact, his parents (Isaac and Rebecca) and his grandparents (Abraham and Sarah) raised a family in a much more idyllic setting, in the Holy Land, with only a 50% success rate, while Jacob, living among a corrupt people and family, raised 13 children all living up to their parents values.

What was his secret?

Jacob in Hebrew is Yaakov. It shares the same root as Ikvi, which means consistency. Jacob, living under very challenging circumstances, both for himself and his family was able to role-model consistent values in a way that made a much deeper impression on his children than he would under optimal circumstances. And that helped lead to his educational success.

So, while we may be tempted to point fingers at all the negative circumstances beyond our control, Jacob invites us to realize the unique opportunity negative circumstances afford us. If my boss didn't give me the well-deserved pay raise, and I still show my children that I won't cut back on my charity because Tzedakah is an absolute value… or despite being tired and overworked by the time Shabbat comes around, I still show I'm committed to going to Shul, I've imparted the value in a way I could not have without the challenge.

If we can show commitment to our values, not as a result of perfect conditions, but regardless of conditions, we can be sure it will last a lifetime... and their lifetime too!

"How could they be do that?!"
Sometimes we watch in disbelief how someone can - in a moment - make a catastrophic mistake that sends their family-life or credibility and stature down in the dumps. All it takes is one single extreme misstep. To the observer, the temptation or challenge may seem easy to overcome, so why do some struggle and fail so miserably.

One tool to avoid many moral failings can be unlocked in the story of this week's Torah portion - Toldot. Esau, the firstborn son of Isaac and Rebecca sold off the firstborn-rights to his younger brother, Jacob, for a whopping price of a... bowl of lentil soup! It didn't take long for Esau to deeply regret his blunder, but it was too late and it leads to a drama which lasts his entire life.

Could Esau really not stand the temptation of a bowl of soup?! Was he that weak or such a fool?

The key lies in two words in the Torah's narrative: "Vehu Ayef" - Esau was tired. We believe that all people have integrity and wouldn't act foolishly and destroy their life's work in a moment. However, people are overcome by a moment of weakness, of clouded judgment. It may be physically drained or emotional and spiritual fatigue.

Avoiding a mistake doesn't begin in the moment of truth. The key lies in keeping ourselves out of a state of fatigue.

It means tending to our body - eating, sleeping and exercising well.

But it also means keeping our spirit strong and fresh. The battle to maintain our integrity is constant, we are always on. We can't afford to follow Esau's foolish path - we must maintain our spiritual edge. Study Torah and connect in prayer. Often!

You are inspired. You take on a new Mitzvah. It’s not easy, but you sense the deep satisfaction it provides you, and you are motivated to keep it going. You are on a high.

Fast-forward six weeks. To your credit, you are still holding strong to your resolution, but the magic has subsided, and your motivation to keep it going is naturally at-risk. It’s your new normal, and we struggle to be inspired by the routine and normal.

A few weeks ago, a community member shared with me that she committed to keep her phone off for the 24-hours of Shabbat. I can only imagine the magical feeling of unplugging and letting go of the barrage of constant distraction for the very first time and connecting to the Shabbat spirit like never before. Then I thought to myself: Can I ever introduce that excitement into my Shabbat, if I’ve been doing it like this for as long as I can remember?!

Welcome to the life of Yitzchak (AKA Isaac). Our Torah portion, Vayera, transitions from the life of Avraham to his son's - Yitzchak. Avraham was a revolutionary; he radically disrupted the world of ancient pagans, traveled to the future land of Israel, and captured the world's imagination.

Then came Yitzchak. Yitzchak roamed the same land as his father. Encountered and engaged with the same kings and leaders as his father did. Reopened the same wells his father dug and called them with the same names. How inspiring is that?!

But Yitzchak’s example is vital. Yitzchak shows us the strength of tackling and mastering the routine. To keep the excitement of yesterday’s new Mitzvah going strong today.

If Yitzchak had not remained committed to Avraham’s ideals, nothing would have been left of Avraham’s revolution.

So Avraham shows us how we must dare to blaze a new trail and take on a new Mitzvah, and, no less important, Yitzchak shows us the beauty in maintaining yesterday's revolution and innovation, to ensure an inspired future.

“​You can't teach an old dog new tricks” was from the first comments I heard after settling in to launch Chabad of Olney. ‘My Jewish experience is what it is, I’m set in my ways - why waste your time trying to enrich the Jewish experience in our town?’

One of the greatest impediments to character development or spiritual growth is the feeling that 'I am who I am'. Children, we tell ourselves, can be guided to change and improve. Adults are ‘finished products’.

All the more so, if a white hair or wrinkle made its appearance… oy vey! It must be time to settle down, come to terms with our life’s trajectory, embrace it or justify it.

Abraham and Sarah, our Zaidy and Bubby (grandparents), showed us otherwise. At 75 and 65, respectively, they were a successful power-couple and had an accomplished and impressive career. They built up their personal wealth, cultivated a following of Monotheism to the tune of tens of thousands and were quite popular.

They had a great case to settle down, buy a beachfront property and spend the rest of their days in leisure.

But that’s when their life's work and accomplishments truly got started. The Torah’s narrative of the Patriarch and Matriarch of our people begins at this advanced stage in their life: ‘Lech Lecha’, our Torah portion begins, leave your entire family and life behind, and go to a new land. Your most accomplishing and rewarding years are yet to come!

To paraphrase Ronald Reagan: Don’t exploit the youth and inexperience of those around you.

Like Abraham and Sarah, we must remain ambitious. Challenge yourself to Take on new Mitzvahs, Master a new Jewish topic, and introduce new family traditions.

Youth is not in your hair color. It’s in your mind.

The story of Noah and the flood is a Biblical classic. The world and humanity sunk into absolute moral corruption. The flood came along and caused a hard-reset on the entire creation. Only Noah and his family, along with the animal and plant life, survived by means of the floating Ark.

Why the Ark?

Life in the Ark was far from a passive ‘ride-out-the-storm’ experience. It was a rehab. To cure humanity of the pre-flood chaos, and serve as a boot camp for the post-flood repaired world.

How so?

Judaism has long taught that most human negative behaviors are rooted in one core issue: Egotism or excessive obsession with the self.

To rehabilitate humanity from this destructive pattern, Noah and his family were instructed to live in the ark for one year with a mission: To serve and care for the entire animal life. To give of themselves to others.

A good world is not one which simply lacks corruption; but a world in which we are actively occupied with giving and caring for another. Being passive in this world risks drowning in the flood of negativity around us. We must strive to be active givers, to serve others and a higher purpose.

Don’t just float your boat; Make room for others and let them ride with you!

In the past, when you wanted to express how you have an important project or task to accomplish, you would say: 'the job fell on me' or 'there's a pressing issue I must tend to'.

Today, there's a new slang to express our attitude toward our to-do list: 'I'm on it!'.

I love this new expression. It's also a more Jewish approach. 'I'm on it' can trace its roots to this week's Torah portion: "Ki Teitzei L'Milchamah Al Oivecha - If you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord, your God, will deliver him into your hands". A more literal translation would read: "If you go out to war on your enemies". There is a big difference. The key to winning lies in your approach to the battle. Go out with confidence and faith in G-d that you are on them, that you have the upper hand, and you will ultimately succeed.

'I'm on it' expresses a vital approach to life's many battles. When confronted with a challenge, whether medical, financial, interpersonal or spiritual, it is imperative that we go with confidence that with G-d's help, we will surely succeed.

When we see issues as 'falling on us' or 'pressing on us', we are somewhat surrendering to the issue, our courage depletes, and our chances of success will reflect that.

But we are on it. Sure, we may need emotional support, friends, mentors, and assistance. But, remember, G-d already provided you with the ammunition to tackle your challenge. You are always on it!

This morning, my children went off for the last day of day camp. I know they will come home oisgemutchet ( Yiddish for - extremely exhausted), because that’s how they came home from camp almost every other day.

It seems not all vacations are created equal. While I may consider a vacation to mean sitting quietly in the shade, reading a book, with absolutely nothing on the agenda. The kid’s version of a vacation consists of a tiring minute-to-minute schedule of activities and trips, with barely a dull moment.

How is that called vacation?!

I suppose it’s because everything on their camp agenda they really want to do. They simply love what they are doing.

It turns out, it’s not the amount of work we do that wears us down, but the fact that we’re doing things we don’t want to do.

In this week’s Torah portion, Eikev, we are encouraged to commit to performing the Mitzvos (Commandments) of the Torah. People often ask: Why do we have so many Mitzvos, so many rules in the Torah dictating our life? Can’t G-d just leave me alone?!

Our children's busy camp schedule reminds us, though, that it’s not about how many things we to do that matters, but whether or not we enjoy doing it.

If we become more familiar with the 'why' of Mitzvos, we will quickly realize they were designed with us in mind, to give us a great life. If we are disconnected from the 'why' of Mitzvos, even one Mitzvah seems one too many, but once we develop an appreciation for it, even six hundred and thirteen doesn't feel like enough…